Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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