so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
