I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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