dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
