Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
