you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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