I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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