Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
