oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
