I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
