he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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