Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
