Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
