So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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