who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
