you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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