Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
