Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just pee around me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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