And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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