I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
