That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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