i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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