drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
