can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
