The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
