thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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