You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
