What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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