I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
