If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
