I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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