and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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