i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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