Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
