That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
