dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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