I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
