My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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