i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I smell stomach acid.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
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Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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