your room smells of hookers.
And success
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
