i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
