Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
