I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize