eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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