peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize