I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
