i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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