Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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