i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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