areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
