By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Mom said you looked used
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
