Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
