Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize