He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
