You smell like a Billy Joel song
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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