so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
