Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
