based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
