Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i believe in u and ur pee
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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