I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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