So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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