your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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