We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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